Sewing Sailor Tops Thursday

When I first took up sewing, I thought I was going to make all kinds of sweet, perfectly-fitting clothes for myself. I thought I'd start doing alterations for friends as a side job. I thought I'd eventually design a few dresses and open an online boutique. All seamstress-y and awesome like.

I also really wanted to meet Nicole Ritchie. Remember that Fashion Star show? 

I soon learned that garment-construction takes a level of patience that, at the time, I just did not possess.  I tried paper patterns and did not understand the directions. I tried PDF patterns and couldn't even get the damn patterns put together correctly without bursting into tears. I cut out pattern pieces and the notches never matched up. I'd sew something together and it would either be WAY too big or WAY too small. Or one arm hole was huge and the other was small. Or I couldn't get my head through the collar hole to see if the shirt fit.

I cried more times than I finished a project.  

I dumped making clothes for quilting.  I found making blankets far more enjoyable.  

And it was a quilting project that led me into Fancy Tiger Crafts one sunny afternoon.  I hadn't been to Fancy Tiger in a very long time.  I tend to fabric shop online. I do this mostly because I don't like leaving my house but also because I don't like cutting table lines.  I have never actually waited in the cutting table line at Fancy Tiger, it's quite possibly an enjoyable experience. I just don't like queues in general.  

Anyway, I stopped in to Fancy Tiger to see if they carried a very certain fabric that I was using for my current quilting project.  I bought the fabric online but it's taking me so effing long to make the quilt that when I discovered I needed more of the fabric, I couldn't find it online anymore.

I didn't find the fabric at Fancy Tiger, but as I was perusing the shop, this pattern caught my eye: Fancy Tiger's Sailor Top Pattern. Sooooooo cute.  I am a SUCKER for gathered sleeves. I wasn't going to buy it because I HATE making clothes.....but.....damnit, I can't explain it. Crafter addiction took over and before I knew it I was at home grasping the pattern packet like Charlie Bucket holding the Golden Ticket.    

Now I will bring up another reason I'm not a fan of making clothes. You have to make a muslin. I mean, you don't HAVE to, but then messing up your project can be really expensive.  I mean, a nicely patterned chambray fabric can be $18.00 a yard, cotton lawn can be $30. That means this shirt could cost the same as a ready-made top at Anthropologie. I just want to make the shirt once and love it right away.  Well, luckily, I found this cute chambray on sale at Joann's.  Sixty percent off, can't beat that. Now this shirt will be normal shirt price so it can be a WEARABLE muslin: cheap enough that if it doesn't fit right it won't be a huge waste of money and if I actually don't mess it up, I can wear it in public. 

I decided that since I also suck at following instructions, I'd look for a sew-along on the internet.  What's a sew-along? It's where a blogger, who can sew better than me, makes the pattern project, sets up posts that highlight each step, and often times gives invaluable advice during the process. I ALWAYS search for a sew-along or a crochet-along on a pattern project, whether it's a bag, a top, a quilt. If it's a printed, purchased pattern, ANYTHING I can do to potentially make fewer mistakes is worth it. 

Searching for a Sailor Top sewalong is how I discovered Creativebug.com. It's where the Fancy Tiger ladies actually have a VIDEO TUTORIAL on this exact project.

I could not believe my luck.  

If you are my friend, you know I have a serious Craftsy addiction. Come on, at-your-own-pace crafting classes I can do without leaving the house? This is my heaven.  Creativebug is similar AND they have a two-week trial period so I was getting the class for free, which was nice because the class comes with a PDF version of the pattern, but I had already bought the paper pattern, so, potentially, if I bought the class I would have been paying for the pattern again.

If YOU wanted to try this pattern out, you could actually get the pattern AND the tutorial for free when you sign up for the two week trial at Creativebug.com. But if you aren't interested in a membership to Creativebug, you can also buy the class through Fancy Tiger for just $10.  

Anyway, I usually hate PDF patterns because it takes forever to assemble and I inevitably end up with pieces that don't fit together....

BUT...

The PDF came in handy when I LOST a paper pattern piece. Yep. I lost it. I cut out the pattern then let the pieces sit out for a week before I continued the project. (ohhhhh, that's why you trace the pattern on Swedish tracing paper and not cut out the tissue pattern....) I mean, the pieces sat on the piano bench, which no one goes near, so I don't know HOW I lost one, but hey, I'm cursed when it comes to sewing clothing. Luckily, I could just print out the piece I lost because I had the PDF. I only had to print out two pages and I'm very pleased to say the pages fit together perfectly. So, thanks Creativebug.com. If it wasn't for discovering your website, I would have cried before I even traced the pattern pieces on the fabric.  

The Garment Gods were on my side this week.

The video tutorial was so freaking awesome. It was SO AWESOME. I don't know how anyone learned anything before video tutorials. The paper pattern comes with directions, but, like I said before, I am not a detail oriented reader. However, I am a GREAT listener. I watched the shirt tutorial completely through before I began the project.

Stitch in the ditch foot. Please ignore the fiber build up.

Because I am a beginner, there were a few things about the pattern that made me nervous: gathering and stitching in the ditch. I hate stitching in the ditch so much that sometimes I will spend six hours binding a quilt by hand instead of even attempting to stitch in the ditch on my sewing machine.

Sometimes people say things like, "Oh my god, you stitched this BY HAND? You're so talented!" But I really do it because I can't attach binding with my sewing machine without missing huge pieces of binding edge and I have to go back and sew parts of it by hand anyway OR seam rip half my quilt binding. I even have a fancy stitch-in-the-ditch foot for my sewing machine. I got the foot at Rocky Mountain Sew and Vacuum during a "Buy one sewing foot, get a second foot of equal or lesser value for ONE CENT sale" Can you believe that? ONE CENT. It was amazing. (sign up for their email list, seriously) But sadly, the foot attachment doesn't really make me better at stitching in the ditch.

The pinning tips in the video DID make me better at stitching in the ditch, the foot attachment made me look like I did it perfect....Which I like.

So, when I get nervous during a sewing project, I tend to develop a white-knuckled death grip on my fabric and I start forcing it through the sewing machine and well, bad things happen, like I break sewing needles or sew through my fingernail (didn't know you could do that, huh? You can.) or stretch my fabric out.

Holy crap, it actually looks like a shirt!

But, listen. The Fancy Tigress that instructs the video has the most calm, relaxing voice. You may or may not know I'm a HUGE fan of ASMR (what's asmr?), and listening to this woman say in a calm and reassuring voice, "just take it slow" while stitching in the ditch or "that was hard, but it's over!" after gathering the shirt around the collar, well, it was relaxing. I know without it I would have ended up with a totally puckered, mismatched and stretched out shirt collar.   

Thank you, wonderful woman who co-owns Fancy Tiger Crafts, for having such a tranquil disposition. During the video anyway. 

I have no clue about her off-camera disposition.

But there were a few other awesome things. I learned soooo much. Keep in mind, when it comes to clothing construction, I am a novice, so these may be common-knowledge techniques I was just never exposed to, but DANG!! The gathering technique used in the pattern was amazing. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to gather a skirt, and after sewing it to the waistband, the gathers somehow disappear. It never occurred to me to use two basting stitches OR adjust my thread tension.

gaaaaaaaathers......

I'm so excited about this top. It turned out better than I ever thought it would and I'm already picking out fabric for another version (at Fancy Tiger....in case Fancy Tiger ladies are reading this...ha!)

So here's my assessment:

Sometimes your husband spills coffee on your pattern instructions. 

Tracing/cutting the pattern is easy and straight-forward. The notches and gathering marks are easy to see/trace. Unless of course you get up to flip a record during the pattern-tracing process and forget to mark the gathering points. But that's not the pattern's fault.

I realized I forgot to mark the gathering point AFTER I sewed the yoke together. 

I used the finished measurements for the hips to make my decision about size ( I made a large), since my hips are the largest part of my body. The pattern might suggest using the bust size, but all of my top-making disasters occur in my hip measurements. And nothing crushes the self esteem like a top that says it "flows at the hips" or "loose at the hips" and then when I put the shirt on, it's tight as heck, so I wanted to avoid that. That's when crying happens.

My hips measure 44 inches and the finished measurement for a medium was 44.5 inches...that just seemed a little snug, especially if I somehow messed up the seam allowance during construction, so I went with the large. I'm glad I did because it "flows" at the hips. The collar is a little big, but I will say that when I put the finished top on and did my size-checking moves (crossing my arms in front of my chest, sitting down and leaning forward with my elbows on my knees), everything felt really comfy. In fact, it was almost perfect. I think I will test out a medium though. Or maybe I'll blend the two sizes down the bodice, who knows?? Now that I feel confident in the construction of this top, I feel great about getting a little creative with it.

This is my first experience using a chambray fabric and I will never use quilting cotton again to make a top. It is just a personal choice, but chambray just gathered better. Because quilting cotton can be stiff, whenever I've gathered it in the past, it just balloons out. I like "a-line" style tops but sometimes they can be a little tent-ish and I feel the draping of the chambray help eliminate that. I'm gonna try a cotton lawn fabric next, I think.

Second wear, washed and dried. 

And that, seriously, is the most important part. For the first time ever, I felt like I learned something useful AND could do the whole thing again without feeling overwhelmed.

And without crying.

But I have to hold off on Sailor Top extravaganza for now because I am crocheting like crazy for my upcoming CRAFT FAIR!! Yep, I will be selling adorable stuffed animals and a few other things on July 10th at the Great Bar Bazaar! It's taking place at Roo Bar from 11-6 and will be featuring all kinds of hand-made awesomeness. I'll be splitting a booth with my friend Desiree, she has been making some super cute goodies. She has an eye for color that I am sooooo jealous of.

In July, I'll upload a more in-depth blog post about the craft show.

Cheers to tear-free crafting-- And if you try this pattern, I wanna see pictures!

Things I Like to Smell Thursday

Top smells: Rosemary, grapefruit, just-rolled-in-the-grass-dog: none of which are featured in the above photo. Good job, Sarah.
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One fine day a few months ago, my friend Des and I whipped up a few DIY products in her kitchen. We tried them out for a few weeks and now I've made new batches of the products I really enjoyed and guess what? I'm gonna tell you how to make them.

But first, I learned a valuable lesson when I started this endeavor of switching to all-natural, homemade bath and body products.  For whatever reason, I thought it'd be a great idea to try out the "no poo" method AND try oil-cleansing on my face at the same time.  Even though I had done a ton of research on both methods and knew very well that it was going to take time for my body to adjust to the processes, I still had this idea in my head that after a few days my hair and skin were going to be more beautiful and healthy than I had ever imagined. But four days in, I felt like a gigantic greaseball.  My hair was a static-y mess on the ends and totally greasy at the roots, I was wiping away oil that was gathering around my nose about every thirty minutes and I felt absolutely disgusting.

I needed a do-over.

On the fifth day, I jumped in the shower and couldn't completely dry out my skin and hair fast enough.  Once out of the shower, I immediately shared my delight in once again feeling like my old, overly cleansed self to my husband, who informed me that he didnt even notice my greasiness, which, in his defense, I'm sure was supposed to be supportive. What I heard was "You look just as gross today as you did yesterday."  Oh man, poor Mr. Heller.  Sometimes I think it's hard being a husband.  Sometimes.  

Ha, so anyway! I decided to focus on skincare first and the two of the products I've loved the most are: a face balm cleanser and a hydrating rose toner.  Since I know oil-cleansing isn't for everyone, I'm going to skip that recipe for now and share with you my favorite toner ever.  It's recommended for normal to dehydrated skin and there are only a few ingredients. In fact, there's just four:

This is the cleanest this dresser will look for the rest of the year.  The following recipe is from a book I have called Natural Beauty.  I love how basic this formula is and I've been noticing that the simpler the recipes I use are, the better results I get. I know it may not always be the case, but for now it's the trend.

Rose and Aloe Vera Toner
(from Natural Beauty by DK Publishing)

Ingredients:
3 1/2 oz mineral water
1 tablespoon dried rose petals
1 teaspoon vegetable glycerin
1 teaspoon aloe vera juice

Directions:
1. Boil mineral water, add rose petals and steep for ten minutes; strain (I just used a tea infuser)
2. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Pour into sterilized bottle. Once cool, seal with a cap or atomizer. Store in fridge. Keeps for 6 weeks.

Shake well before use. After cleansing, apply with cotton ball or spritz on face. You know how to use toner.



So, my notes here are that I totally didn't keep this in the fridge, in fact, until I just typed it out I never noticed it in the directions. Ha!  Mine lasted four weeks on my dresser in the dry Colorado air.  My advice is, when you shake it, if it starts to get pretty cloudy, it's time for a new batch.  And I don't know what a sterilized container is, I used a plastic spray bottle I bought at Target.  Maybe one day I'll have beautiful vintage atomizers that I'll boil before I use them, but for now, plastic's what I got. 

Side note: My toner started getting cloudy sooner than I expected (now I know why) and I felt bad so I started spraying it like crazy on my face to try and use it up before it went completely south.  Let me tell you, it was not a good idea to drench my face in products starting to go bad.  Don't feel bad, just make a new batch.  

Now I'm going to convince you that you can use all these ingredients again for other things, in case you don't want to make this recipe because you can't imagine what else you're going to use aloe juice for.

So, steeping dried rose petals will make your house smell like.......roses.  And I can't get enough of it. I made a bunch of batches of this toner for some friends because I couldn't get enough of the smell.  I drink the leftovers too, because I can't just boil 3 ounces of water here in Colorado and get 3 ounces back- mostly because I'm not used to water boiling so quickly as I tend to boil way more water AND I'm at high altitude. So basically half of it is gone before I realise it even started boiling. I usually steep two tablespoons of dried rose petals in 6 ounces of water, (or 3 T in 9 ounces) let it cool, then remeasure and drink what's leftover.  The rosewater for this recipe is pretty strong, not like the Tulsi rose tea I drink, so it tastes a little...perfumish...but whatever. Rose supposedly hydrates your insides as well as your outsides.  I get my rose petals at Apothecary Tinctura in Cherry Creek. They have herbs and teas "self service" style, so you can measure out the exact amount you need if you want. I like to have a lovely glass jar filled with rose petals on my dresser, it's a little piece of pretty amongst the disaster area that becomes ground zero for makeup, cotton balls, hair, jewelry, loose change hair, and for some reason, mail I don't know what to do with (and hair).  But you can use dried rose for many other crafts. Potpourri, drawer satchels, maybe you can decorate a cake with them. Put em in the bath. Just search "dried rose petal crafts" on Pinterest. Worth it.

Aloe Juice. Aloe juice.  What can you do with it? Well first off, you can drink it.  Mr. Heller used to take shots of it everyday, but I toss it in green smoothies occasionally. And salad dressing once in a while.  But also, I've been putting it in my hair like a conditioner. I'll talk more about that at a later date. Also, aloe juice lasts like three months in the fridge.

Vegetable glycerine, you can eat it!  No, no don't eat it.  I don't have any other ideas for vegetable glycerine, so I'll just point out that it's an ingredient in MANY face and body products, so just keep making body products, right? 



Onward to hair products!  After my deodorant posts, a few people suggested that I try the “no-poo” method, which consists of washing hair with baking soda as well as an apple cider vinegar rinse a few times a week.  I tried it for about six days, and I came to the conclusion that I just wasn’t ready to make a switch like that. I have a deep personal connection to my morning shampoos and I just really, really, really don’t want to give it up.  It stems from when I quit drinking. I got really depressed, which is a pretty normal(but shitty) thing that happens when someone quits, and some days the only “win” I had was taking a shower. Sometimes I’d even stand next the tub and stare at the water coming out of the shower head. I’d think about how much I didn’t even want to get IN the shower. I’d let the sound of the water hitting the tub fill my ears and I’d cringe like the hot liquid about to hit my skin was going to pelt me like hail and burn me like lava. But then I’d pull out my super yummy smelling shampoo and something about a squeaky clean scalp just made life worth it. Wherever one finds solace, right? I figure I'll get used to a more natural shampoo and just try to shampoo less often before I try the "no-poo" method again. 

Des and I made a honey-citrus shampoo that we based off this recipe (we didn't have authentic African black soap or vanilla, so we made substitutions). At first, I really liked how the honey added great texture to my hair (it never felt "sticky") but to be honest, the honey built up and after three days my hair just felt dirty.  I may attempt to reformulate it, maybe less honey, more soap.  But since my goal was to find a good DIY shampoo for everyday, I decided to try a different recipe: coconut milk shampoo. 

I. love. it. LOVE. it.  I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE using a gentler soap on my hair. It doesn't strip away all my natural oils, which accomplishes two things:  1. Makes my hair look thicker. I dont know why.  2. Puts structure back into my wave. Again, not a scientist, can't tell you why.  In fact, I subscribe to a subscription box called Goodbeing, which sends me a few all natural products to try each month and I got a sample of an all natural shampoo and conditioner  a few weeks ago. I used the samples for three days and I missed the heck out of my homemade shampoo.  The wave in my hair started to look sad again too.

Another benefit of making products at home, I get to make them smell however I want. So, this sample shampoo was "Passion fruit" scented and I thought it smelled like the bubblegum flouride treatments I used to get at the dentist when I was a kid.  I was not stoked on it.  Also, I JUST bought a new Rosemary essential oil and I can't stop smelling it.  It's my favorite smell right now.  I am currently putting it in everything.  Except deodorant. Inspired by another sample I received in a past Goodbeing box, I decided that grapefruit is also my new favorite smell, and so into the deodorant it went. (Last year I couldn't get enough Lavender.)

Anyway, just a heads up if you want to try this shampoo, there's no "squeaky clean" feeling. That was a little hard for me to get used to, but now I hate the feeling of super "clean" hair.

Oh yah, want the recipe for this shampoo? I based it off this recipe from a youtuber named Ela Gale. As you will see below, I left out some ingredients for no other reason than I didn't have them.  Still works great. 



My variation of Coconut Milk Shampoo

Ingredients:
1/2 c. Coconut milk
1/2 c. Castille Soap 
1 teaspoon vitamin E oil
20 drops rosemary
15 drops lavender

Directions:
Mix all the ingredients together. Put in container.
Shake well before use.

A few notes: When I originally tried this recipe, I halved it, using 1 teaspoon of vitamin E oil because I only had capsules and it effing sucks to empty out a tablespoon of vitamin e oil from capsules.  This time I made a full batch but kept with the same amount of oil. If I think there needs to be more oil, I'll add another teaspoon of ALMOND oil.  I didn't use the fenugreek powder that is listed in the linked formula for no other reason than I didn't have any.

Also, not sure if it matters what kind of Coconut milk to use.  I mean, the kind I used is out of a box but it worked and I used the rest in my coffee and mac and cheese, so this is the cheapest shampoo I've ever bought! Ha!

I measured out the liquids in a pyrex cup and then transfered them to a tupperware container to shake up, before pouring the mix back into the pyrex to then pour in my bottle. I don't have a funnel, so...I should get one.  But I wanted to try and show you the really nice froth this shampoo makes, it's not the best picture, but check it out:



I think it's luxurious....oooooooooo fancy......I know. It just looks like milk froth in this picture, but it FEELS amazing with the oils in it. I want to squish it between my fingers forever.

I use a face balm to oil-cleanse my skin at night, but during the day I wash with Mad Hippie Cream Cleanser and so I have a whole bunch of these brown glass bottles with pumps, because they are too nice to toss, and it turns out they work perfectly for storing this shampoo! (So it WASNT hoarding, see?)  The full recipe would fill two of these bottles but I am going on a trip in about ten days so I put some in a travel bottle.  In the picture, the travel bottle has a spray lid, but that's because my other travel sized bottle currently houses honey-citrus shampoo that I gotta clean out before my trip.  

I had no problem keeping this shampoo in my shower, but like I said, I halved the recipe the first time, so we'll see how long it can sit on the window ledge in the shower this time.
  
I am still on the lookout for a good conditioner recipe. Apple cider vinegar just isn't enough moisture and a recipe I tried with shea butter and coconut oil is just too heavy, but turned out to be a fantastic ROSEMARY scented body butter.  I am in the process of trying an aloe vera juice rinse while also trying out all the carrier oils I've collected over the last six months on my hair as well.

ANYWAY, that will be a different adventure to write about.

If you use any of these recipes, let me know!  I absolutely loved hearing about the deodorant some of you made after my last post.  

I am going to start doing yard work this year. I am a notorious plant killer, but our yard has gone to pieces because my gardener..I mean...husband...is in school and has ZERO time, so I mean, it can only get better, right??  Pray for my yard.  

Because I feel like there's just not enough pictures in this post, here's a photo collage of my recent attempt at container gardening: 



And, last but not least, I added a new little dude to my etsy shop, Goodnight Sprite!  Use code APRIL2016 for 10% off ANY order for the rest of April.





See you next time!

Craft-tastic Announcement!!

I'm going to be selling my crafts at an awesome craft bazaar!!!!  I realise this might not be exciting for you, but it sure is for me.  Let me tell you all about it, starting from four years ago.

Four years ago, I decided I was going to start a business making baby and children's blankets.  Quilts, playmats, minkies, all kinds of cute things.  I bought all kinds of fabrics and designed all kinds of quilts and even bought labels.  But then, well, life got busy.  I just couldn't put in the time I wanted to and my plans (and my fabrics) got put in some very adorable vintage suitcases and packed away in the Closet of Unfinished Business.

But then a few weeks ago, one of my friends approached me about a craft show she wanted to put together.  At first I didn't think I had time, but then I heard me say to myself "It's now or never, girlfriend. Take this chance!!!"

I'm very grateful for this opportunity and I love that it's my friend's first go at a craft show as well. We both get to realise a dream and that is awesome!

So here's a glimpse at what's been going on in Sarahmerica: CUTTING!! As you can see, I have a lot of boy-ish fabrics. This is because most of my friends have had boys in the past few years and I thought the selection of cute boy stuff was abysmal, so I wanted my blankets to be bold, exciting boy stuff, not the sparsed patterned, pastelish stuff I was seeing at Fancy Tiger.

I like bright. Bright, bright, bright.  So that's what most of the blankets will be.

I will also have a bunch of Christmas cards, christmas tags, and Thank You cards (you'll be especially needing those, right?), as well as some high quality vintage clothes and accessories.

When is this fair? It's called the Great Bar Bazaar and will be held on Saturday, December 12 from 11 am to 5 pm at Roo Bar (3480 Park Avenue West).

I know there are other craft fairs that day, so make the Great Bar Bazaar a stop on your crafty holiday goodies tour and check out my handmade loot!!!

Quick subject change: Next Thursday will be the first installment of Physical Fitness Thursday here at Sunshine Satellite.  I set a goal to be able to do TEN pull ups by next October, and I am going to use this blog to hold me accountable!!  I will be talking about some of the tools I am going to use to meet my goal, so look for it Thursday, or better yet, subscribe to my blog and let your email tell you when I update!!

Self Esteem Thursday

Welcome to another installment of "Self Esteem Thursday"!!

Yes, it's true. At the bottom of this post is the recipe for Lavender Cupcake scented deodorant that my rad friend Desiree and I invented by accident last week while experimenting with deodorant recipes. And it is awesome. It works great. It's a miracle. But if you are going to try your own baking soda-based deodorant and you currently use antiperspirant, it is very important that you read about my detoxing experience.

If you are using antiperspirant right now and then make this deodorant and come complaining to me when you develop a burning, red rash, the first thing I am going to ask is "Did you read my entire blog post?" It's why I put the recipe AT THE END and not at the beginning where everyone wishes it was.

I know I take too damn long to get to the point.  I've been speaking the same way I write my entire life, I know the look on your face. So just read it.  Get it over with, I'll try and make it entertaining.

*ahem*

I read about antiperspirant detox about a hundred times while researching natural deodorants that could stand up to my 1/2 marathon training regimen.  As I read each person's encounter with a horrible, burning rash while using baking soda-based deodorant, I seriously thought it was all a crock.  Obviously, these abounding personal accounts of searing hives comes from a skin sensitivity not a "detox" and all those people are stupid and I have a Bachelor of Science, so I am smarter than pretty much everyone.

But then I went to Houston in August, and I remembered that regardless of my ability to draw Bowen's Reaction Series from memory,  I'm quite often pretty flipping stupid.  And often humbled.  Ha! 

As previously reported in an early post, I decided on Schmidt’s as my first experience with natural deodorant even though I read about a thousand accounts of  "pit detox." I slathered it on my underarms one morning and waited for a burning sensation, but there wasn't one.  It was hot and I had a nerve-wracking Toastmasters meeting, so I sweated up a storm, then I came home and jogged.  When I got back to the house, I made Scott smell my armpits (he didn’t want to, I had to promise to never ask him to “smell my pits” again) but to both of our surprise, there wasn’t a hint of body odor.  So, no smell, no weird detox rash.  I was shocked and elated.  I thought “Wow, this was too easy, I am awesome.”

Three days later I had to travel to Houston on business. I can sum up Houston in August in one word: Wet.  Not rain wet.  That would be easy to avoid using coats and umbrellas.  It's really, really humid. It is inescapable drenching.  It’s unavoidable full body saturation that can only be minimized by arctic level air conditioning blowing on you constantly. I used to live in it and I just don’t know how. That horrible dripping I feel down my back under my business attire when I'm not even moving around, it’s not just sweat.  It is humidity building up on my dry, brittle, flaky skin. I often hear people say things like “soak up the humidity.” Screw that. I’m pretty sure that after being exposed to dry Rocky Mountain air for so long my skin has developed an anti-absorbing shield that causes humidity to simply bead off like water on my windshield after a carwash.  My skin probably thought I was drowning. So gross. 

Maybe it was just that it took a few days to actually get rid of the antiperspirant chemicals, or maybe living in a sauna disguised as a city sped up a “detox” process, either way, on the third day of the conference, I got out of the shower and put on the Schmidt’s, as I had done the past few days with NO problem.  But this time one of my armpits immediately broke out in a painful, swollen, bright red rash.  I was already running late and a simple washcloth wipe wasn’t making it better!! I had to jump back in the shower and wash the deodorant off my skin.  The burning stopped right away.  The rash, however, remained. Luckily, I had a backup deodorant. Sometimes I'm dumb but not that dumb. The night before I left town my friend gave me a new tube of his favorite natural deodorant, Arm and Hammer, to try and I just tossed it in my suitcase just in case.

The Arm and Hammer did not irritate my skin, but I did need to reapply it a few times a day while I was in Houston.  It could have been that I was just so wet and the deodorant kept getting rinsed off by the humidity.  It could have been that I actually started detoxing and it was going to be a smelly process.  I don’t know which, because when I got back to my sweet, arid Colorado climate, the Arm and Hammer worked pretty well. My only complaint was that it kind of dried out my skin.  

Sooooo I bought Nourish. It is full of moisturizing ingredients and uses cornstarch as its absorbing agent.  This was actually perfect for getting through the "detox" phase.  The skin under my arms never felt so spoiled. It was like I was putting fancy lotion on an area that rarely got any love.  Actually, it wasn't LIKE that, it just was putting fancy lotion on an area that rarely got any love. I mean, it's coconut oil and shea butter.  I still use it when my underarms feel dehydrated and if I had to do this whole thing again, I'd just use Nourish for a month and then switch to something baking soda-based if I felt I needed something stronger.

About a month went by before I tried Schmidt's again because the whole burning rash thing scarred me emotionally.  So, I don't have a timeframe for how long the detox process takes but I READ it only takes about a week, if you want to believe things you read.  

But since I made my own deodorant last week, I haven't used the Schmidt's.  Why? Because as much as I love smelling like Bergamot and Lime, I LOOOOOVE smelling like a lavender cupcake.

Desiree and I made two different recipes to try. We used ingredients we ALREADY HAD at home.  Look, essential oils are nice but not necessary.  You don't NEED vitamin e oil for this to work.  Use what you got, try it out.  Find a friend that hoards essential oils and team up.  (I am going to make a batch with Aveda's Beautifying Oil soon.....you Aveda girls reading this...) We got two jars out of each recipe, so we got a LOT of deodorant basically for free.  We based the recipe amounts off of instructions we read online. One recipe has more baking soda than the other. More about that at the bottom. 

Lemon Lavender Deodorant

* 1/4 cup arrowroot powder (or just cornstarch.  I happened to have a bag of arrowroot laying around that I hadn't touched in like 6 months because I like to pretend I bake things.)

* 1/4 cup baking soda (I used arm and hammer, which was next to the arrowroot on the super high up baking shelf that I don't look at)

* 4 Tablespoons coconut oil (We used unrefined extra virgin because that's what we had- and to be honest, probably adds to the "cupcake" aroma. But again, just use what you have or what's on sale) 

(side note: these top three ingredients are the most important. the rest is just fluff and you can customize it however you want)

* 10 drops lavender essential oil

* 10 drops lemon essential oil

* a splash of vitamin E oil (probably a teaspoon)

* splash of jojoba (probably 1 teaspoon)

Directions: Soften up coconut oil- not to a liquid, just so you can mix it up. Stir all ingredients together. Put in container. It will stiffen up overnight. That's it.  Desiree and I were sooo stoked to spend the afternoon making deodorant and it took about ten minutes to make both.  Ha!

To apply: take a pea-to-coco-puff sized amount in your hand and rub it around to soften.  Then slather on underarm area.  Or just take some from the jar and rub directly on the pit.  I do it either way. 

Wild Orange and Peppermint (again, these are the oils we had on hand)

* 1/4 cup plus 1/8 cup baking soda

* 1/4 cup arrowroot powder

* 4 Tablespoons coconut oil (looking back, I feel we added a little more for consistency, maybe another tablespoon)

* two teaspoons of jojoba oil (however, I recommend one, see below)

* 10 drops wild orange

* 6 drops peppermint

Same directions as above.

    serving size example and my cute new nail polish

Desiree and I both tried out the Lavender recipe the day after we made it.  I was telling Scott how great it was when I received a glowing rave via text message from Des.  The day after that I ran 6 miles wearing the Lavender mix again.  It worked great, no smell complaints.  

I was hesitant to try the Wild Orange and Peppermint mix because I was worried that the extra baking soda was going to be an overkill and actually irritate my skin.  Having said that, the smell is amazing so I just had to try it and I gotta say, it is currently my favorite of the two.

Just so you know, next time I'll mix the lavender lemon scent with the higher baking soda recipe, but I will cut back the jojoba. The Wild Orange Peppermint is a LITTLE greasy. I gotta wait a bit for everything to absorb before I put a shirt on.  

The lesson I took away from this experience is that I will probably never buy store deodorant again.  It's just too easy for me to make a good quality deodorant at home.  

If you are addicted to your pointless antiperspirant, that's fine. I will still be your friend.  I have never, ever asked someone what they daub on their underarms each morning in normal conversation and I don't plan on starting.   

But it's really, really fun to make your own!!! (do it.)

Desiree's handwriting is beautiful.

Once Upon a Time, I Didnt Want A Dog.....

Basically, the story goes like this: Scott called me at work and asked me if I could possibly get to the Denver Dumb Friends League in freaking Parker in an hour to see a dog he had fallen in love with.  And by the way, he had been going there every day for a week on his lunch break “just to look” at dogs. Oh, and I REALLY needed to get there ASAP before someone else got him. Ughhhhhh, I was not into it. We had just had an incident with a dog we tried to adopt and had to give back and I just wasn’t ready to start looking at another dog.  In fact, the previous day we had agreed to wait a month. But I went because Scott Heller is handsome and this fact makes me do things I normally wouldn’t do. 

I arrived at the DDFL and Scott walked me excitedly down the row of Plexiglas kennels. The place looked kind of like a weird dog zoo and Scott looked kind of looked like a six year old picking out his new best friend.  It was all pretty adorable, which made me really mad, because I knew that Scott had basically gone behind my back to get a dog and I already knew I had to say yes no matter what I thought of the mutt.  Scott finally found the dog’s kennel and I saw, for the first time, the fuzzy poopface that was going to change my life. The sign on the kennel said “Shepard Mix” but it didn’t really look like a typical dark haired German Shepard. This pup was very skinny, I could see its ribs and although he looked kind of like a German Shepard, he was a little squatty in the legs but his tail was giant and obviously out of control, wagging with a vengeance.  I felt my stomach sink as I imagined glasses full of liquids getting wagged off our coffee table. His overall color was a light yellow but he had dark coloring around his eyes and his giant black ears.  I watched him as he jumped around his living space with what seemed like a huge shit-eating grin, which is funny because he’s an avid poop-eater. Why the hell was he so happy in doggy jail?  Good lord, the pooch was just too freaking cute. And Scott was too freaking cute looking at the dog. I’m pretty sure that Scott had the dopey-est, goofiest smile too and if he had had a tail, it would be wagging like crazy.  They loved each other right away.

Some people in blue polo shirts shut me in a room alone with the dog.  They told me his name was Mikey but he did not respond to it.  I kept trying to give Mikey treats but he didn’t care about me at all. He was distracted by the giant line of small children walking down the hallway. The dog basically had his nose up against the glass door, still wagging his giant dumb tail like crazy.

“He probably wants to eat them,” I thought, because at the time I assumed all dogs in the pound were fundamentally bad dogs.  Which is totally untrue but my experience was limited at the time.

Griff woke me up because he wanted me to pet him

I was very uneasy about the whole thing and worst of all, I felt like Scott trapped me. I wondered if Mikey was going to pee everywhere and eat my underwear and get into the trash and destroy our couch….all things I wasn’t ready to deal with. But, I agreed to adopt that day because I knew if we didn’t just adopt this dog, not only was I going to crush Scott’s dreams, I was going to be back here in a week looking at another damn dog.

We picked up Mikey a few days later because he had to be neutered. The vet told us the pup would be pretty groggy from the pain meds but when we got home he acted like he was on meth:  What’s this smell? What’s this crumb? What’s this chair do? Oh, can everyone sit on this couch? No? How about this bed? No? Let’s do ten laps around the table!!  Oh, I have an itch. Where does this doorway lead? What’s in this clothes hamper? Let’s do laps again!! Who likes to wrestle??  Wait…Itchy….What’s down these steps? 

First Day Home

Right away, though, it seemed that fate had matched us with this extra-happy spaz-case. In the days between signing the adoption papers and the dog’s surgery, Scott had decided to name our new addition Griff.  Well, Sir Griff McHeller, to be exact.  (Don’t ask me what the hell it means, it’s probably what seven year old Scott wanted to name a dog). We called him by his new name the moment we got in the car and he responded to it instantly, as if it had always been his name.  It was weird.  Anyway….

Griff's first Halloween

Griff and I had a rough go at first.  I didn’t know a single thing about owning, training, and caring for a dog, I never had one. I read a couple books, but most of them were about training puppies. He didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak dog. And of course, finding our “order” was pretty tough. Scott instantly proved his dominance by tackling Griff on the first freaking day we had him but I couldn’t tackle a seventy pound dog.  All I could really do was stare him down until he looked away, which I had read in one of the books, to do to establish dominance.  However, sometimes Griff took this staring contest as an invite to play and I’d just get a hyper seventy pound dog jumping all over me.  And going for a walk was a nightmare, he pulled on the leash like crazy and zigzagged back and forth across the sidewalk, constantly tripping me up. I would try and make him sit at each street corner and what seemed like a simple task turned into a three minute argument- Me telling Griff to sit and Griff whining really, really loud.  Like, so loud the neighbors would look out their windows and see me staring at Griff and Griff staring anywhere but at me.  I’d wave at whoever was staring at us. Yep, it’s just Sarah Heller standing on the corner with the dog she can’t control.  Oh yeah, and he wanted to attack every animal that came within fifty feet of us.  And he was super pissed off at anyone wearing a puffy jacket, a hat, and/or sunglasses, which was everyone in Colorado in the spring.  This happened on every.single.block of every.single.walk. 

To make matters worse, Griff was not very cuddly and he hated being hugged, which was very disappointing to someone like me that wants to hug everyone all the time.  He didn’t really care about treats and therefore we didn’t have a clue how to train him or tempt him into listening. Not to mention I didn’t really know how to connect with him at all. Griff and I were pretty confused by each other and were both often very, very frustrated.

BUT. One day.

 I was out in the front yard pulling weeds.  It was a freaking gorgeous day, some of the neighbors were in their yards and kids were playing up the street.  Our next door neighbors stopped over to chat with me and Scott decided this would be a great time to bring out Griff and introduce him to the neighborhood.  Sweaty and covered in dirt from weed pulling, I wiped a filthy glove across my forehead and I looked over towards the front door, out popped Scott with Griff pulling on the leash. They looked totally awkward and out of control to me, kind of cartoonish, as a super excited Griff came over to sniff the strangers and Scott tried to pretend he had some kind of handle on the situation. But the neighbors immediately surrounded the adorable yellow dog. The kids down the street ran over, and soon there were ten people all clustered together around Griff and I, with ten hands trying to pet Griff’s head. I knew right away this was not going to turn out well. 

Christmas naps

People always go for the head pat, but that’s the worst place to pet a dog you don’t know.  They can’t see or smell your hand. I mean, if someone you never met immediately reached for the top of YOUR head, what would you do?  Look up and wonder “What the hell are you doing?”  Yeah, dogs wonder the same thing.  When someone goes to shake your hand, you can see what they are doing- so get over putting your hand near a dog’s mouth and just go for the neck-scratching “hello.”

Anyway, the whole neighbor scene was very overwhelming.  Griff circled around me a few times, wrapping my upper legs in the leash. Scott handed me his half to get untangled and a few more kids came running down the sidewalk to meet Griff.  One little girl got right up in Griff’s face and when she tried to pet his head, Griff looked up to see where her hand was going and she ended up poking him in the eye.  He snapped at her in a playful way but everyone around us instantly yelled “No!” like he was trying to bite her and pulled the little girl back. Poor Griff immediately stuck his head between my knees, confused, overwhelmed, and scared. 

My heart instantly exploded.  He leaned his head harder into my left leg and the introvert in me knew exactly what was going on.  “He just thought you wanted to play,” I told the little girl. And then I unwrapped the leash from my body and got down low to Griff and made him sit. I showed the little girl how to pet him on his neck instead of on the top of his head, that way he could see where her hand was going.  Griff calmly let her and that seemed to satisfy everyone around us that he was, in fact, a good dog.

“I think Griff’s had enough excitement for one day, I’m gonna take him back inside.”  Everyone petted Griff one more time and we headed into the house.  I sat down on the couch and Griff came over to me and stuck his head in my lap. “Griff, you’re a good boy,” I said as I leaned over and kissed the top is his head, to which he responded by spazzing out. 

Griff and I would struggle with dominance and commanding and listening for about another year, which I’m sure I’ll write about soon, but that moment in the street, when Griff could have hid like a scaredy-cat behind either Scott or me, and he chose me, well, it made us friends forever. 

Self Esteem Thursday

disclaimer: Although I use some research to back up my points, this is totally my opinion.

Everyone has a pit smell.  After all, it's where our apocrine sweat glands are, which contain bacteria that breaks down sweat.  The process is a little smelly.  But normal pit odor is, well, normal. We shouldn't be embarrassed by it, everyone HAS to sweat. But a few years ago I opened my clothes dryer and was overwhelmed by the scent of body odor.  I thought I had forgotten to add detergent to my washer load. I re-washed the load but it didn't really do anything.  The next load was the same.  And then a few days later, same thing.  I thought, holy crap, my sweat is so gross that it's staining my clothes.  But I really didn't know what to do about it, except buy new clothes and change my antiperspirant.

And then it progressed in the worst way.  I couldnt get the yucky body stench off my body.  I'd shower and I'd loofah and loofah until my skin was red, get out of the shower and sniff my pits.  STILL SMELLY!! What the holy hell was wrong with me, I'd wonder. I mean, my Reasons Why Sarah Is Totally Gross List that I keep in the back of my mind for times when I really want to kick myself into the gutter is already long enough. Now I have to add "So Stinky Even Antiperspirant Can't Help You, ha ha ha ha ha!! Gross" to the list.

It was a cross I bore quietly for about a year until, like any normal person, I googled my disorder in hopes of a self diagnoses I could live with.

And there, on the internet, I found the truth. And I got really pissed off.

Now, humans have been sweating, let's say...forever.  Humans have been embarrassed by sweat for...let's say....forever.  Okay, not forever, but I have a feeling that the very first time a human was embarrassed, it was from body odor.  Possibly, it was for not having enough body odor (mmm.....hormones), but odor, nonetheless.  And us humans have been altering the way we smell for thousands of years.  Apparently, Ancient Egyptians started the trend of applying spices directly to their pits to de-odorize them and eventually the Greeks and Romans caught on. (everythingIreadontheinternetistrue)

However, antiperspirants did not really come about until the good old 1800's.  Antiperspirants were being used by surgeons to keep their hands from being sweaty during surgery but manufactuerers wanted to make their product more attractive to the public.  However, Victorian society was not sold on antiperspirant. Why? Because the active ingredient in antiperspirant was (and still is) aluminum, which was stabilized through an acid-based process often resulting in acid remaining in the products, thereby causing said product to eat away at clothing and cause skin rash.

So, antiperspirants seemed unnecessary and dangerous to Victorians. Then, this marketing genius managed to convince Victorian females that their body odor was totally embarrassing and making them fail at love and life.  His self-esteem crushing marketing technique was so good that other companies followed suit and eventually even preyed on jobless depression-era men into considering their chances at financial stability were directly related to their body odor, or lack thereof. (Isummarizelikearockstar)

And, of course, why screw with a good thing? It's the same marketing technique used today. We don't need antiperspirant, we NEED to sweat, but someone we don't even know is making us feel bad about ourselves.  And making money off it.

So, back to my rank pits. Was I becoming immune to my antiperspirant? Is it a fact that your body can become immune to antiperspirants? No, I have found no reputable study confirming this. However, think about this: how often do you buy a specific brand you love and when it comes time to replace said brand, it says "reformulated!" or "new technology". OR, you FINALLY find a scent you like (Crisp Cucumber? I think I totally want to smell like that) and you go to replace it only to find it has been discontinued and replaced with a "reformulated" antiperspirant with a totally new set of scents? (What the hell is Pearl Finish?)  Like, EVERY time you buy a new stick, right? RIGHT??? How often does a company really need to reformulate something?? Especially if it works. Hmmm, could this be how they keep your body from becoming immune?

It could also work this way: you feel like your antiperspirant isn't working that great and are about to look at other brands, but you notice that Secret has COMPLETELY REFORMULATED it's deodorant to be extra-special strength in the same powdery whatever scent (or, you know, manly scent) you prefer, so you get it and it magically WORKS GREAT!!  They managed to switch you up before your body starts to become "immune".

But then, maybe you, like me, start having some problems.  Like when you don't use it one day, your body odor is extra smelly.  And you can't get your newly reformulated stink smell out of your clothes or off your damn body.  Why?? Because you're SOOO gross.

No, no. Because the chemicals in the antiperspirant are reacting to the chemicals in your body and creating a reaction that stains your clothes.  Yes, the chemicals in your antiperspirant are staining your clothes. This is a fact.  (that I didn't source an actual scientific paper to back up)

IN FACT, some studies found that stain pre-treatments actually CEMENT in the stains instead of remove them.  This study came out about 2010, right when antiperspirant manufacturers came out with CLINICAL STRENGTH products. PRESCRIPTION STRENGTH products.  It's as if their response to "why is your product making me and my clothes smell worse?" was "Wow, you got some FUNK, what you need is MORE chemicals."

Right?

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo????  All this conjecture, Sarah!  Get to the part where you quit using antiperspirant!!!

I made the switch six weeks ago.  Four days in, I started to notice the really bad body odor smell I had been dealing with for years started to go away and about a week later it disappeared completely.

 It also took about a week for my body to go through "detox." I don't know if it's really a "detox" but I started sweating a LOT more and I started to get a little pungent again, however, this new natural smell was nowhere near as bad as the old smell.  And it lessened over time.

Some days I don't even wear deodorant.

And now, six weeks in, I get a little stenchy, but at appropriate times, like the morning after the day I didn't wear deodorant.  And it washes off. Completely. Again, the aroma is in no way offensive or excessive. In fact, I like my new natural smelly me. It's better than super gross chemical body stain me.

This was a very successful transition for me. The only thing I sort of didn't expect (and I don't know why, duh.) is that I had to get used to sweating more. Because hey, I was sweating more. Naturally.

Added benefit: Many of my clothes stopped stinking and the new clothes I have purchased since switching smell like my detergent.  No more body odor blasting my face when I open the clothes dryer.

So for years I thought I was gross but it was really that antiperspirant is gross.  Antiperspirant was really the culprit but antiperspirant companies made me think I was the foul one.

And that is why I hate them all.  And I'll never use antiperspirant again.

These are my fave natural deodorants:

Nourish Organics: This brand uses corn starch as its sweat absorbing ingredient and coconut oil as its moisturizer.  My pits love it. Lasts about six to eight hours but I must reapply after a run, if I care how I smell after. And let's face it, I'm totally in love with my new natural stink so sometimes I don't.

Schmidt's: This product uses baking soda as its absorbing ingredient. It is a bit drying and I'm very *sensitive* so I can't use it regularly but I am freaking in love with the bergamot and lime scent.  I found this product wears the longest of the four deodorants I tried- I can wear it for about eight to ten hours and run 5 miles and still smell like bergamot and lime. I wish I smelled like bergamot and lime everyday. (I'm probably smelling the jar right now....bergamot....and lime....sooo good...)

-side note- I know some people use deodorants to avoid the aluminum in antiperspirant, which may or may not be linked to diseases like Alzheimer's and cancers.  The jury is still out and I changed deodorant because I believe the ingredients, including aluminum, made me smell worse, not better. Having said that, I don't see anything wrong with believing that inhibiting natural body functions may have consequences. It just wasn't my point. So don't put in the comments that I skipped it over.

Countdown to Halloween!

Stampin' Up! released the holiday mini catalog and it is filled with holiday awesomeness.

>Look at it online here<

It  focuses mostly on Christmas, but there's a bunch of rad Halloween stuff, and I know most of you don't want to even see a sliver of red glitter before October 31st- so let's talk about ghosts and candy!

I used a bunch of different products to create all these goodies, but the one thing I used in all of these projects is THIS Happy Haunting Designer Series Paper:

And for the stamping parts, I used the "Sweet Hauntings" stamp set. To achieve the "headstone", I used the Note Tag punch. This punch would also probably make great gift tags for gifts...ANY time of year...

 I used more than the products shown above but these are the basic tools and embellishments I recommend in addition to the paper.  A quick tip about some of the products: The Stampin' Write Markers are great if you don't mind a more faded or rustic look. For halloween, it's perfect.  If you want a sharp, crisp line when stamping, I'd go for the actual stamp pad in Tangelo Twist or Basic Black.

The Sweet Hauntings stamp set is available as a wood block-backed stamp set or a clear block-backed stamp set.  The wood block set includes the wood blocks. If you decide on the clear block set, the clear block is sold separately.  Although the catalog recommends about four clear blocks, you only need one: size D.  Which stamp set should you get?  Either one.  The only advantage to using the clear set is that you either 1. already have a clear block D so the stamp set is actually cheaper or 2. plan on buying more stamps in the future, which may work with your new D block.

As you can see, the clear block stamp set is NOT photopolymer.  It is still a rubber stamp that you can not see through.

Okay, enough tips. Let's look at the goodies.

If you take a look at the catalog, you will see that I sort of copied-but-customized some of the catalog designs.  This style of treat holder was designed by Stampin' Up! but I tailored it to fit my M&M's.  So it's super cute, super easy to make and super easy to customize.  Also, you are going to learn about all my favorite candy. Side note: I love that staples are "cute" now.

These grave candy wrappers are another project inspired by the Stampin' Up! holiday catalog, but as you can see, I again customized them to fit one of my favorite mini chocolate bars.  

I actually made all these candy holders about three weeks ago and work got so insane I didn't get around to photographing them until now.  So some of them may not have candy in them anymore. And I may have had to refill some. But you can't tell, right?? 

These boxes were my favorite to make.  Of the three wrapper projects, this is the most involved.  I used this tutorial on Youtube but I added the satin ribbon pull instead of using a flower button.  And I really, really like the satin pull, that little customization worked out nicely.  Also, FIVE mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups fit in one of these little boxes.  As you can see, I ate one. As you can see, I couldn't replace the one I ate for the photoshoot because I ate the rest of the bag like two weeks ago. 

Last, but not least, Halloween cards! Designed by me but inspired by my friend Ryan who wants to make Halloween cards a thing. I also think it should be a thing.  Not just a kid thing.  A regular holiday card thing.  

For the above card, I used the Stampin' Write Markers on one of the Sweet Hauntings tombstones to just ink up the words I wanted.  Then I used the Triple Banner paper punch (it's in the regular catalog, not the holiday catalog) and sponged the crap out of all my paper edges.  I freaking love sponging the edges of everything.

Here I also sponged the edges!!  And it looks super rad!!  I also used the Rich Razzleberry inkpad to stamp the bottles from the Sweet Haunting stamp set onto Rich Razzleberry colored paper.  And check out those black sparkly stars- I punched those out of the Black Glimmer Paper with my itty bitty star punch.

So, there are a ton of cute ways to use a pack of the Happy Hauntings Designer Series Paper and the Sweet Hauntings stamp set. (and you totally want the note tag punch too. do it.)

If you see a product or project that you have more questions about, contact me!  If you want to host a Stampin' Up! party and make some cute Halloween stuff, contact me!!  

If you do decide to order anything, remember to select me as your demonstrator!  And if you let me "see" your details, you will get a little free handmade thank you gift for ordering.  Otherwise, you can order and give me credit but I won't be able to see anything but the fact that someone ordered from me, which might also make you happy.  

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